WATERBOARD ALL THOSE SAYING IT IS NOT TORTURE

Let's have a full and open investigation of how George Bush and Dick Cheney instituted a policy of torture on captives believed to be Qaeda supporters.

Recall that the Inquisition lasted about 400 years in Europe from about 1300 to 1700 when the leaders of the French Enlightenment exposed it and its shameful practices of torture to daylight.

Some of the very same methods used by churchmen in the Inquisition to extract confessions of devil worship and witchcraft show up in what we know about Bush and Cheney's policy of "harsh interrogation methods." Trial by water is a good example. Water has long been used to separate the good from the evil. Suspected thieves and robbers were thrown into the water in 13th Centrury England; if their hair stayed dry, they were exonerated. Officials poured water down the throats of suspects. Most confessed within a few seconds. Of course, even after receiving church absolution, these unfortunates were then taken and burned at the stake in the city center.

Of course water was not the only method. Churchmen used hot coals and the wrack to test the innocence of suspected heretics. Surely God would protect them if pure and innocent. Most were found to be allied with Satan.

Those who claim waterboarding is not torture should watch the video of Christopher Hitchens being recently waterboarded. Hitchens volunteered. He lasted about 20 seconds before he could not take any more. Better yet, defenders of waterboarding - Hannity, Thiessen, Cheney, Rice, Addington, Tenet, et al. - we should waterboard all of them and not stop unless they make a full and complete confession. First let's accuse them of (take your pick): supporting Al Qaeda, practicing witchcraft, planning to detonate a dirty bomb in NYC, being in consort with Satan, practicing socialism, or whatever. Let's see how much water they can stand before they confess.

WATERBOARD BUSH & CHENEY - GOD WILL PROTECT THEM IF INNOCENT BUT NOT IF GUILTY

The Bush Administration is pulling out all the stops in its efforts to justify its use of waterboarding. Saying that the CIA administered this classic torture technique on only three high value prisoners, Bush and Cheney want it to seem that they are judicious and prudent in nearly drowning only three out of many suspected terrorists.

Yesterday Cheney said if it were a matter of national survival he would again order suspects to be waterboarded.

Since Cheney seems to feel that the information produced by those subjected to the torture is worth it, I have a suggestion. Let's subject both Bush and Cheney to waterboarding. Let's see what information we can gather from them. Let's suspect them of being in consort with the terrorists. If they are indeed innocent, surely they will pass the water test without doubt. God himself will protect them, assuming they are innocent.

This is the very same test administered to those thought to have committed some crime back in the Middle Ages. Some suspects had to undergo a water test, others a test of fire, still others the rack. If they were indeed innocent, God would protect them from the rigors and pain of the trial, but if they were truly guilty, they would confess before the test was finished.

What is the difference between Bush and Cheney ordering waterboarding for certain suspects and the trials by fire, water and the rack some 800 years ago? Answer: there is no difference, they are exactly the same. That's why Bush and Cheney and their whole gang should be subject to waterboarding. If they are innocent, God will be with them. But if they are indeed guilty, God will not protect them and they will scream out in fear and pain.

Anyone want to take bets?